Stormy Skies

I’m not a fan of driving in bad weather. I was so excited to move away from Colorado and not have to worry about driving in the snow anymore. We plan, God laughs – I moved to Florida and have to drive in rain on the regular now. Usually it’s not too bad but last night it was pouring on our way to church. Brandon had gone early to help set up for the End of the School Year Bash so I was driving. The windshield wipers were going double time, lightning was flashing; thunder was rumbling and I was white knuckling the steering wheel and reminding myself to breathe. We made it just fine, but it got me to thinking. If Brandon had been driving in those exact same conditions and I had been the passenger it would have been a whole different experience; because I totally trust the driver. Now if you ask him I have my fair share of backseat driver advice, but in general I know he’s a good, safe, confident driver; so I can just sit back and relax. Man I wish I could remember that when I’m “driving” through storms in my life. I suppose I feel like I’m the one who has to get myself through it. Scared, anxious and alone. That’s so ridiculous when God has promised to always be with us. “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” Deuteronomy 31:8. If only I would take the pressure off myself and let Him get in the driver’s seat so I can relax because I trust Him. Would I still feel compelled to make some backseat driver comments? Let’s be real – of course I would. But would the trip be so much smoother knowing God had it under control and was going through it with me? Absolutely. I think that warrants a change, don’t you?

Through the Roof

Remember that time that Jesus was in town and these four friends said to themselves, “We should take our paralyzed friend to see Jesus so He can heal him!” So they carried their friend on his mat to the house where Jesus was but it was so crowded they couldn’t get in. So they took their friend up to the roof and DUG A HOLE in the roof so they could lower him to Jesus. And Jesus healed him. Do you know why? Because Jesus saw their (the friends) faith and He healed the man. It wasn’t the man’s faith that impressed Jesus but the faith of his friends. Faith that was strong enough to convince them to carry him when he could not walk on his own. Faith that said, “Jesus can heal you,” when the broken man didn’t know if he even believed it himself. Faith that said “We don’t know how to help him; all we know is that you can. So here we are, carrying him to you.” Faith that digs through THE ROOF, y’all. Because nothing was gonna stop them from getting their friend to the one who could heal his heart and body. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of friend I want to be.

Photo Credit: pinterest.es

A Light In The Darkness

Many years ago (I don’t even want to calculate how many) I went to college at CSU in Fort Collins. I don’t remember what class it was, but I had one that was later in the day. Late enough that when I went it was still daylight, but when I was heading home it was dark. It was a year that I lived on campus and didn’t have a car so I walked to all my classes. There was a shortcut to this class that wove between two buildings and I always took it on the way, but I never took it on the way back. I opted to go the long way home. Why, you ask? Did I want to make sure I got my steps in? Did I prefer the scenic route in the evenings for some reason? No – it was simply because if I took the long way I could walk under the street lights. The shortcut, in the light of day, was just a pleasant walk between two buildings with a few giant trash bins pushed up against the wall. But at night, in the dark, it felt like the perfect place for someone nefarious to hide and attack. It was the exact same place at both times, but it only felt safe in the light.

Right now, with all that’s going on in the world, it can feel so very dark. But one of the things that can so beautifully drive out darkness is light. John 1:5 says, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Jesus is the light. His light shines so brightly that “even the darkness will not be dark to [God]; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” Psalm 139:12.

We are only a few days from Christmas. The day when we celebrate Jesus (the Light) coming into the world. He was born into chaotic, difficult, dark times as well. As we celebrate His birth, may this weary world rejoice that the light has come to overcome the darkness.

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'” John 8:12

_{Photo credit: Stephanie Smith}

Thank God for Praying Friends!

Mustache Day for Red Ribbon Week

How many times do you think your mom’s friends have prayed for you? Once, twice, a hundred times, a thousand? Have you ever even thought about it? I really hadn’t until I became a mom. And while I have prayed for my friend’s children for years, it came into particularly sharp focus when we moved from Colorado to Florida just a few weeks ago.

We packed our family of 7 (I guess really 9 if you count the dogs; and you totally should) into a 26 foot moving truck complete with car hauler, a 12 foot trailer, and a very full minivan and drove across the country to live in the Sunshine State. It was a circus to say the least, but that’s kind of our life in general, right? My poor, sweet, adaptable children had to start their 2nd new school this year, right in the middle of the school year, right in the middle of a pandemic. New house, new school, new bugs – no big deal, right? But it was a big deal. And while my children are very outgoing and resilient, starting at a new school in a small town in the middle of the school year isn’t easy. My girls, who have never met a stranger, made multiple friends on the first day. But my boys did not. Shawn did meet a friend on the bus, but no one in his class. And my 7th grader (is there a harder grade to start over in?!) sat alone at lunch. And it broke my heart. When he told me in his nonchalant, “It was no big deal, Mom, really” kind of way I hugged him and teared up. And we talked about him inviting himself to sit with someone the next day and we moved on. Well, he did, but I didn’t.

I locked myself in the bathroom and texted my friends. My sweet, wonderful, supportive friends who have known my kids since they were babies. And I told them I knew it was kind of a small thing but would they please pray?! And they said, it is NOT a small thing and OF COURSE they would pray and God had this all under control and they couldn’t wait to hear what He would do for my boys the next day. And then my mama heart could breathe, because they were carrying the burden with me.

And then I started to think about all the prayer requests that have been shared over cups of coffee and slices of pie or the work table at church or while our children were screaming and giggling in the background at a play date. And I could see so clearly the hand of God. How He establishes relationships so He can love us through our friends and family. So we can carry each other when times are hard and celebrate together when things are good. And so that we can be a sacred part of our friend’s children’s stories because we have been granted the privilege of praying for them.

So the next time you think back on your childhood and wonder how you made it through some of the things that life threw your way; maybe you should thank your mom’s friends – because they’re probably the ones that prayed you through it.

Who Can We Trust?

I watched a video the other day where a guy was standing at one end of a table throwing ping pong balls into a cup at the other end. He made it every single time – amazing, right?! Then they zoomed out and you saw that his friend, who was standing behind the camera, would drop a ping pong ball directly into the cup right after the first guy would throw it. A total illusion. Doesn’t 2020 kind of feel that way? We see so much happening on tv or online, but we don’t have the ability to zoom out and get the whole picture. So all the contradicting information makes us confused, angry, maybe even scared. What if there was a better way? What if we remembered that the One who holds the world is bigger than all the chaos? What if we trusted that God has a plan, even though we can’t see it? What if we stopped trying to solve it ourselves and let Him take care of us? What if we turned off the news and opened the Bible?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Home

I grew up in a military family and we moved every 2-3 years when I was a kid.  My Dad retired when I was 10, but we still moved houses a couple of times before I headed off to college.  Since college I’ve lived in 8 different homes.  My parents are on their 16th house in their 40+ years of marriage.  All that to say, I never really had a “childhood home.”  A place that held memories of growing up and would break my heart if my parents ever sold it.  Because we’ve moved so much my sense of “home” is my family.  The people themselves.  Home is where the heart is, as the saying goes.  When we would move cross country my parents always reassured us that even if the scenery changed we’d still have each other.

I’ve never lived more that 3.5 hours away from my parents.  For the past 13 years, never more than 10-20 minutes away.  But this weekend they’re moving 12 hours away to Arkansas.  And I feel like I’m losing my anchor.  I’ve never been a mother without my mom being a few neighborhoods away.  I’m not sure I know how to do this.  I realize I’ve been spoiled all these years and I will cherish these memories forever – my parents being a daily part of my life and the lives of my children.  But I’m also so happy for them as they embark on this new adventure; this new chapter in life.  I’m looking forward to the epic reunions and the fun we’ll pack into the visits we’ll have.  But it will take some time to adjust to this new normal.  If home is being with the people you love;  I have homes all over the world!  I know I’ll still have a home here in Colorado and a new home in Arkansas.

Quarantine 2020

Remember that time that I ran over myself with my van?  (If not, you can check out my blog post about that on my friend Beth Woolsey’s blog: https://bethwoolsey.com/2014/03/on-doing-it-all-not-on-my-own-a-family-and-imperfection-writing-contest-winning-entry-by-mandy-smith/)  As you may recall I broke my femur AND got blood clots in my lungs; so I was definitely living the dream.  I had a lot of doctor’s appointments and blood draws in those days, and I distinctly remember having my Dad drive me to the doctor’s office and wait patiently as I moved my walker inch by inch closer to the door.  I thought to myself, “You know, someday I’m going to drive myself here and walk through those doors with no walker, no crutches, not even a cane!”  I thought it, but it felt like an eternity away.  I also remember hopping on one foot and swinging myself around my kitchen putting dishes away, dying to just do one thing by myself.  I even told my friends, as they graciously came over to hang out in my living room turned bedroom because I couldn’t climb the stairs; that I actually couldn’t wait to be able to do laundry again.  As I sit here surrounded by piles of laundry I chuckle that I used to miss it, but I didn’t really miss doing laundry – I missed doing something normal and routine.  And I missed taking care of my family the way I wanted to; on my terms.

As we sit in our houses now, being asked not to go out unless it’s absolutely necessary due to the Coronavirus, I’m feeling the same way.  I can’t see a future where my kids go back to school, we play at the library or we catch a movie in a theater.  I intellectually know that this won’t last forever; but the uncertainty makes me feel like it will.  I understand that it’s a very small price to pay to keep others well; and I’m happy to pay it.  However, this isn’t allowing me to take care of my family the way I want to; on my terms.

But you know what?  One day, almost without realizing it, I walked through the doors of the doctor’s office with no walker, no crutches, not even a cane.  And I’m back on dishwasher and laundry duty.  I had to rest for quite a while so that I could return to a new normal.  That experience has changed me forever.  My leg aches when the weather changes and I definitely need to use the railing when I take the stairs; and I realized that I had a whole community who would fill in the gaps for me and my family when I couldn’t.  That there is hope for change and a future.  One day down the road, almost without realizing it, we’ll be at a play date or eating at a restaurant and we’ll remember these days, when we were unsure of when we’d get back to our new normal.  We’ll be different because of this.  Closer as families, more appreciative of how hard our medical professionals and service employees work, and more united as a nation.

As we wait, in this in between time, let’s take care of each other and remember that God’s got this.  “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14.

 

Legacy

I went to a memorial service last week.  It was tragic and beautiful.  A life taken too soon, but a life well lived.  And the knowledge that we will be reunited in glory filled the service with hope and joy.

His children shared testimonies of his life and I was struck by the obvious legacy he was leaving behind.  They shared stories of time spent playing games and running them to practices.  Sitting down and eating meals together.  Showing up to cheer them on at every single sporting event.  Wisdom shared from the Bible.  Making church a priority.  Loving his kids and his wife with all of his heart.  But not a single memory was shared about any material possessions he had given them.  Or any times he had spoke in front of large crowds.  His legacy was full of memories of him just being there.  Living his faith out on a daily basis.  Never missing a chance to share his love with his family and friends.  And I was so encouraged.

You see, at the service I sat next to two of the leaders of the Christian Challenge group I attended in college, while the third leader of that group led the service.  These are people who poured into my life when I was a newly minted adult who was just learning about my faith and how to live it out.  They answered every question I had and taught me how to follow Jesus on a daily basis.  They loved me well.  They still do.  They’re creating a legacy, just like the beloved husband and father we were celebrating yesterday.  Pouring into lives day in and day out.  Nothing flashy, just doing the work God has for them.

God reminded me yesterday that you don’t have to famous or rich to make a difference.  (Which is good, because I’m neither!)  You just have to show up.  Share the love that God has given us.  Care about each other.  Sometimes it’s easy for me to think that the day in and day out of wiping noses and trying to figure out math homework doesn’t really matter.  But I saw it yesterday in those tear filled testimonies – it’s what matters the most.  And I hope to one day leave behind the kind of legacy that he did.

Emmanuel

When my kids were little they would often get stuck in the play structures at fast food restaurants.  Not stuck like, “Someone get some butter!” – but stuck like they had made it to the top and couldn’t figure out how to get back down.  And no matter how precisely I would explain to them from the bottom how to get back down, they couldn’t figure it out.  Not unless I, or as the bigger kids got older, James or Katie, actually climbed up in the play structure, took their hand, and led them back down.  My instructions from afar, although accurate, weren’t enough – they needed me to show them what I was trying to tell them.

As Christmas is upon us, I can’t help but thinking that maybe that’s why God sent us Jesus.  He had painstakingly and lovingly told us how to live our lives here on earth, but it wasn’t working.  He had sent us His Word and spoken to us through His prophets, but it wasn’t enough for us.  We needed more, someone to take us by our hand and lead us.  And so He sent us Jesus.  Someone to walk this road with us, someone who knew what we were going through because He was going through it too.  Someone to lovingly show us the way.

I’m so glad that God didn’t give up on us when we were too stubborn and blinded by fear and confusion to hear and understand His Word.  But rather He looked at us, His children, and realized that He loved us so much He would find another way.  He sent Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us, to show us the way that cold night in a stable so long ago.  And I, for one, will be forever grateful.

Carrying Each Other

A few weeks ago I got a message from a friend telling me that they couldn’t find her baby’s heartbeat and would have to do a C-section within the next two hours.  I received that message WHILE I was making making dinner for one of 3 of my friends who was recently diagnosed with cancer.  And to say that I was devastated is an understatement.  My heart has been heavy lately with the hard things my friends are walking through; and maybe even more so because of my inability to be able to do anything to take away their burdens.

However, God has been showing me that even though I may not be able to cure a friend’s cancer or fill the hole that a missing child has left, He has designed something that I can do.  Surround those who hurting with support.

I love the story in Exodus 17:8-13 when the Israelites were fighting the Amalekites.  Moses stood on a hill above the battle and as long as he held up his arms, the Israelites were winning, but when he put them down the Amalekites started to win.  As you can imagine, Moses became tired and couldn’t hold his arms up any longer.  So Aaron and Hur brought him a stone to sit on and they held up his arms.  In doing so the Israelites won that battle.  They were all in a fierce battle that day; a battle where Moses had a starring role.  But he couldn’t do it alone.  Aaron and Hur didn’t run for reinforcements or dive into the battle to win it themselves.  They saw that Moses needed help and they jumped in to help him where he was at.  They didn’t do anything particularly heroic, they were armrests for heaven’s sake, but their willingness to jump in and help took the burden off of Moses and led to victory.  So maybe making a meal for a friend who’s hurting or sending a funny card is our way of holding up their arms until God grants them victory.

Or maybe, like the friends in Luke 5:17-26, we know the power of bringing a friend to the One who can heal.  Those men knew that Jesus was the only one who could heal their paralyzed friend, and when they couldn’t fit through the door to see Jesus because of the crowds, they cut a hole in the roof of that house and lowered him down to be healed.  And Jesus healed him!  Those men knew that there was nothing left for them to do to help him but to take his needs before the Lord.  We too can take the needs of our hurting friends before the only One who can truly heal them and miracles will happen.

I will always wish that I could do more for my friends as they walk hard roads, but I pray that we can all be encouraged that God can use us in all sorts of ways to hold up their arms and carry them to Jesus.